Being a step-parent: What you need to know to make things work

Being a step-parent is a unique role that requires you to balance your own needs and desires with those of the kids, their biological parents, and even your partner’s ex. It’s not always easy, but it can be incredibly rewarding if you stick with it.

When to be involved, and when not to get involved

As a step-parent, it is your responsibility to set boundaries on what is appropriate for you to be involved in. If your partner asks you to help them with their children and they have an issue with something that happened during that time period, do not take it personally and do not get into the middle of things. You are there as a friend first and foremost, not a parent or authority figure.

How to set boundaries with your step-kids

It's important to set boundaries with your step-children early on, so you can foster mutual respect and trust between the whole family. These boundaries shouldn't be so restrictive that they'll feel suffocated by them, but they should still encourage positive behaviour and help keep everyone on the same page. If you're having trouble setting these boundaries yourself, here are some tips:

• Talk to the other parents about what kind of rules and expectations they have for their children's behaviour. Listen carefully so that you don't contradict anything that has already been agreed upon by all parties involved - but also make sure not to overlook any potential areas of conflict between all parties involved as well!

• Consider writing down some guidelines together as a stepfamily unit; this will allow everyone involved an opportunity for input into how things should shape up over time (as well as give them something tangible to refer back to).

Getting help from the birth parents

As an adoptive/stepparent, it’s important to remember that your relationship with the birth parents is different than your stepchild’s. You may be able to get support from them in a way that helps you better understand what you need as a parent and how best to meet those needs. If there are specific things that are confusing or difficult for you, ask for help from the birth parents.

For example, if discipline is something that has been challenging for you, ask how they handle punishment with their child. Or if there’s a particular activity or skill your stepchild seems interested in learning at school but doesn't know how (like playing an instrument), see if they can provide guidance on how they learned it themselves when they were younger.

Your relationship with the birth parents will likely change over time as new challenges arise and older ones become resolved, so don't worry about having all of your questions ready right away! Just start talking about whatever comes up naturally and revisit topics later when there's more time available for sharing information between everyone involved in raising children together.

Finding time for each other

If you want to build a relationship with your stepchildren, you must find ways for you to spend time together. You can do this by planning activities for the family or just having special times when it's just you and your stepchild(ren).

You might also try scheduling regular meetups with each other. You could try once a month or every other week and make sure they're not always scheduled around your work schedule. If possible, try being flexible so that if something comes up in their lives that require attention (i.e., an illness), there will be enough room in your schedule to accommodate them.

Keeping the peace with the exes

"Keeping the peace with the exes" is a common challenge for step-parents, but it doesn't have to be. When you're married or partnered with a single parent and there are children in your life, having a good relationship with the other parent can make all the difference in how things go. You may not be able to change your spouse's feelings toward his or her exes overnight, but taking steps toward establishing an open line of communication will help ensure that everyone has an understanding of where everyone else stands.

In addition to talking about keeping things civil with former spouses and partners, it's important for couples entering into step-parenting relationships to discuss their expectations for each other as parents; and not just because they are now raising someone else's child together! In order to establish boundaries about how much time needs to be spent on schoolwork versus extracurricular activities versus family time, both parents need input from each other; otherwise, one parent could inadvertently take over as "the boss" while failing at giving equal attention (or worse yet: being too permissive).

Where to go for help

Take time to evaluate the situation and seek help. Talk to the child’s therapist or doctor, if they have one. If not, talk to your own therapist. If you're feeling overwhelmed or like this isn't going well, it's okay to ask for help, for yourself as much as your stepchild!

If you don't want to see a therapist, there are other ways of getting support. One option is joining a support group for step-parents in your area or online if that's easier for you. You might also consider reaching out to people who understand what it's like being a step-parent: these could be friends whose kids live elsewhere, partners of the nonbiological parent, adoptive parents or even grandparents who have been through similar experiences themselves.

Being a step-parent is a lot of work. But the good news is that there are people and organisations who can help you if things get tough. Whether it’s talking with your partner about strategies for managing inter-family dynamics, or finding a therapist who specialises in step-parenting issues, there are many resources available to help make your journey as easy as possible. And remember: No matter how much support you have from friends or family members (or even therapists), it’s important that you take care of yourself too! Take time each day for yourself; the best way to be an effective step-parent is to keep your own needs at the forefront of everything else in life so that no one gets left behind - including yourself!

How to talk about sex with your partner

You and your partner are in a happy and healthy relationship. You love each other, you're sexually attracted to one another, and you enjoy spending time together. So why do so many people find the topic of sex so awkward? The truth is that there's no need for it to be awkward—communication around sex can be simple if both parties are willing to put in some effort.

Don't wait for the perfect moment to bring it up.

Talk about sex with your partner. It might seem intimidating, but it's actually not that hard. Soften the mood by turning off the lights, making sure you're both relaxed and sober (no alcohol), and keep in mind that there's absolutely nothing wrong with taking this path!

If you're still feeling nervous about bringing up the topic for whatever reason—whether because of your inexperience or because of what other people have told you—you can always start slow by talking about it in general terms first. You don't need to jump into specifics right away; just get used to being comfortable having conversations about sex together so that when one day comes when things heat up between you two, it won't feel foreign or uncomfortable anymore.

Prepare a little before you start the conversation.

Before starting, make sure you're in a good mood and that you've thought about what you want to say and how you want to say it. If necessary, write down some points you want to make so that the conversation is more organised. Get together any information about STIs or birth control that might be helpful for your partner and have it available during the conversation (if it's already on hand).

Think about how your partner may respond, too—especially if they are not open-minded or supportive of sex positivity. You might even come up with some responses ahead of time or have a pre-written letter for them that explains why this is something important for both of you as partners in an intimate relationship.

Pick the right time.

The time of day you choose to talk about sex should be when both you and your partner are not distracted or tired. You also need a little privacy, so if you’re in an apartment building, or dorm room or share your home with others, plan ahead of time where the best place to have this conversation is going to be.

Think about what kind of moods each person will be in at this time too—is one feeling more on edge than they usually are? Pick a date night or just ask them how their day went before asking about any potential problems within the bedroom (if there are any).

Try not to get defensive.

Don't take it personally. It's OK to get defensive, but you should remember that the other person isn't attacking you—they're just sharing their thoughts and opinions.

Don't try to change their mind. If there are things that bother you about your partner's suggestions, bring them up in a calm manner so you can talk about them later on (if at all).

Don't try to convince each other that one of you is right or wrong. This kind of back-and-forth can go on forever, but it doesn't serve any purpose except for causing frustration and souring the mood between partners who were getting along fine before they started discussing sex!

Set aside enough time.

The first step to talking about sex with your partner is setting aside enough time for the conversation. This can be a lot of work, but it's worth it: you want to make sure that you're not trying to talk about sex when there are other people around or while someone is waiting in line behind you at the grocery store. If there are distractions in your environment, they could cause you and your partner to miss important points or get distracted by something else entirely.

If possible, try setting up an appointment with each other so no one feels rushed or pressured into having this conversation at an inconvenient time for them. If this isn't possible for whatever reason—for example, because both of you work full-time and varying hours —then try scheduling it at night when both parties are most relaxed (or even during the weekend if neither of the two partners works on weekends).

Another option is handling communication digitally instead of physically; if this sounds more appealing to either person involved in this discussion then consider using text messaging apps like Facebook Messenger instead of calling each other on phones directly!

Don't try to make it a one-time conversation.

You shouldn’t try to make this a one-time conversation. Don’t be afraid to bring it up again if the first time doesn’t go well, and don't be afraid to say the same thing over and over again until you feel heard. It might take a while for your partner to get used to hearing what you have to say; just keep at it until they do!

Be willing to compromise.

Compromise is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, and it's even more important when you're discussing sex. You have to be willing to give a little so your partner can have what he or she wants, too.

However, that doesn't mean you should let yourself get taken advantage of—in other words, don't let him or her walk all over you just because they want something. Also, it's not always a good idea to give up everything in order to keep the peace and make sure your partner is happy all the time; if things aren't working out between the two of you and compromise isn't doing much good anymore, then maybe it's time for both parties to start looking elsewhere for their sexual fix!

Being clear and honest about what you want will help keep your intimate relationship strong and healthy

Be careful not to think that this means you should tell your partner everything you are thinking, though. It's easy to assume that being open with each other is always going to make things better, but in some situations, it might not be a good idea. Asking for help from professionals who can guide the conversation could be more productive than trying to have an open discussion when emotions run high.

Hopefully, we have given you some helpful tips for how to talk about sex with your partner. We know it can be awkward and even scary at first, but don’t worry—if you keep at it and practice these steps over time, it will get easier. And remember that even if the conversation doesn’t go perfectly well the first time around, just keep experimenting until you find the right method that works best for both of you!

The Basics Of Polyamory For Beginners

Polyamory is a non-monogamous relationship style in which people have multiple romantic partners. Polyamory can involve one person in multiple relationships with other people or it can involve several people who are all connected by their feelings for each other but don't necessarily want to be romantically involved with each other. The word “polyamory” comes from Greek roots meaning “many loves,” and it involves consensual arrangements between all parties involved.

Polyamory for beginners

Polyamory is often considered taboo or unconventional, even though there have been many polyamorous couples throughout history. But what exactly does it mean to be poly? Is it cheating? Can anyone be poly? Here's everything you need to know about practising this unconventional relationship style!

What is polyamory?

Polyamory, which is often shortened to “poly,” is defined as the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships simultaneously with the consent and knowledge of all parties. Polyamory is the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships simultaneously with the consent and understanding of all parties involved.

While many people think of polyamory as an extension of swinging or open relationships (which are non-monogamous by definition), this is not true. Practitioners of polyamory believe that there should be no hierarchy between partners; polyamorous people tend to seek to create a relationship structure that involves multiple partners but does not prioritise one person over another.

Polyamory is not cheating

Polyamorous people are often accused of being cheaters and liars, but polyamory is not cheating. Polyamory relationships tend to be more communicative than monogamous ones.

Dating multiple people consensually is not the same as having an affair. Poly relationships require more honesty than monogamous ones because there are no secrets! If you’re in a poly relationship, you should always be open about your other relationships with your partner(s).

People who practice polyamory or ethical non-monogamy will often be very honest about their feelings with their partner. They are not out to hurt their partner when telling a partner they are in love with someone else. Something that many polyamorous couples experience is a phenomenon called “compersion”. If a partner of a primary is told that the new person they’re seeing is great, they’ve been having a good time and their latest date went overwhelmingly great, the primary partner may feel compersion for their partner. This is the feeling of participation in the happiness of others. Honesty is key to building strong bonds which leads us directly to our next point...

Polyamory does not mean you have sex with everyone

One of the big misconceptions about polyamory is that it means you have sex with multiple people. While some poly relationships do involve sex, it is not a requirement. Polyamory allows for deep emotional connections between people while respecting their boundaries and desires, which can be expressed in any way they like, including by having sex!

Polyamorous relationships may look different depending on who's involved and what they're seeking out of each relationship. Some couples look for connections and friendships with others that may lead to a sexual relationship while others may bond with someone with the same interests that their partner isn’t too keen on. There's no one way to do it; whatever works for those involved is what makes up their unique configuration of love and commitment!

Polyamory is different for everyone.

Polyamory is a relationship style. It’s a choice to love more than one person at a time, and those relationships can be different from what you may be used to, but that doesn’t make them any less valid.

Polyamory is all about being open and honest about your feelings for others and allowing people in on your relationships. It allows you to get close with people without feeling like you’re compromising or giving up something significant for them to become part of your life.

Monogamy isn't right for everyone

Just as polyamory isn’t for everyone, neither is monogamy. If you're someone who wants to date more than one person at a time, polyamory might be the way to go. But, it’s important to be communicative and have the consent of all involved parties.

Polyamorous people can bring different things to their relationship(s), which may or may not include sexual intimacy. It's all about what your style is, how comfortable you feel doing it, and how much communication goes into setting up your boundaries around dating decisions (and everything else).

You can have a primary partner and secondary partners

Polyamory may include

• A primary partner is a person you live with, who is your lover and/or friend.

• Secondary partners, are usually people you see on the weekends. They can be friends or lovers, but they aren't living with you.

• Some polyamorous people identify as solo poly — meaning they don't consider their partners as primaries or secondaries but rather as equals in their relationships.

Solo poly people may have multiple partners, but they do not have a primary/secondary relationship with any of them. They might, for example, have one close relationship who is also dating other people and isn't his or her primary partner. In this case, he or she would still be considered solo poly because the two are not in a primary/secondary relationship with each other.

Polyamory isn't always going to be easy

It's a good idea to remember that polyamory doesn't always mean rainbows and butterflies. It can be difficult, stressful, and frustrating at times. Sometimes you'll be jealous of a partner's other partners or they'll be jealous of yours. Sometimes you'll have conflicts with the people your partner is seeing or sleeping with. Sometimes you'll feel guilty about being in love with someone else while still being committed to another person (or group).

Polyamory isn't for everyone. And as we discussed above, some people are more suited for monogamy than others. But if it does work for you and your partner(s), many benefits come from having multiple romantic relationships at once:

• You may have more sex!

• You have more love in your life

• Your other partners will often make an effort to respect your relationship with their significant others; this means less drama between all parties involved!

Not everyone can do polyamory — and that's OK!

It's important to note that not everyone can do polyamory. A lot of people are monogamous by nature (or at least have a preference for one partner), so if you're not comfortable with the idea of multiple partners or feel like you'd be unable to make sure everyone involved is happy, don't force yourself into a situation where you might end up hurting someone else.

But if the concept doesn't scare you, that's great! There are plenty of benefits to being in a polyamorous relationship. It is crucial when beginning this journey that all participants discuss their expectations and boundaries clearly so no one gets hurt down the line.

Polyamory can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience for everyone involved. It's important to remember that polyamory is not for everyone and the best way to get started is by doing what works for you. If you're interested in learning more about polyamory or getting some professional advice about this relationship style, getting guidance from a relationship counsellor at Aly’s Place may be a good place to start.