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It can be hard to define what "enough sex" means in your relationship. If you're not having sex, do you want to? Is it because of a lack of interest or just a busy schedule? Are you feeling satisfied with how often your partner wants to have sex with you? If so, great! But if not, then maybe it's time for both of you to talk about how that makes each other feel. Maybe your partner feels the same way. You won't know unless you have an open discussion about your sex life, which is important in any short or long-term relationship.


What is sex to you?

We might all think sex is the same thing for everyone, but it’s not that simple. The definition of sex is quite diverse for many people and many couples do not share the same definition. Therefore, communication about it what sex means to you and your partner is key! A couple of things to consider include:

  • Ask your partner what they understand as sex. Does this mean penetrative sex only? Does it mean a lengthy make-out session or oral sex?

  • Ask your partner what sex means to them and what it looks like to them. Does it mean you must have an orgasm? Does it have to be an experience of connectedness or simply the act of doing?

Talking about the basic definition of sex and what it means for both you and your partner will help you to discover how you both feel about sex.


You're happy with your partner

Here are a few signs that you're happy with your partner:

  • You feel comfortable with them.

  • You feel safe with them.

  • You feel like you can be yourself around them.

  • The two of you can talk to each other about anything, and they'll be understanding and supportive (as opposed to making rude comments or laughing at you).

If you feel like you are happy when you are with your partner, you may not have any problems when it comes to your sex life. On the other hand, you may be having a great time with them but you feel like the sex isn't consistent enough or not as pleasurable as you'd like it to be. If this is the case, this is certainly a cause for communicating your needs with your partner.


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You are both willing to try new things.

You both love to try new things.

If you're in a great relationship, you and your partner will be open to trying new things together. You might have tried something previously that was not so enjoyable, but there's no reason why it can't be done again with different results! Maybe the first time around one of you was a little hesitant about the activity, but now there is an openness to give it another shot. If either of you is reluctant or afraid to do something new in bed, then this is probably not the right relationship for you. The goal should always be shared pleasure between partners; if one person doesn't want to do something because they feel uncomfortable or scared, then respect their wishes and don't push them into anything they aren't ready for yet (or ever). But if both people are willing and excited about trying something new together—go ahead! It may be just what breaks up an otherwise boring routine. Or at least it may make up for a few lacklustre nights earlier in the week when neither party wanted anything other than Netflix bingeing on the couch with junk food nearby instead of spending time connecting physically together as well as emotionally through conversations about life goals/dreams/goals...


The timing is right for you both.

Sometimes, timing is everything. That’s especially true in relationships—but it can also apply to other aspects of life as well: your career, fitness regimen, hobbies and even vacations. In short, the timing might not always be right for you if one person has been trying to put the moves on their partner for a while but nothing seems to work out when they do. Timing is important because it often determines whether something happens or not - or if it does happen then whether or not there's success involved with that action or event. So yes: timing matters! In this case, we're talking about how much sex each person wants without feeling pressured into doing something they don't want because someone else wants more physical contact than they do on any given day...or week...or month...or year (you get the point).


You're comfortable being physically close.

Being physically close is a good indication that you're comfortable being close with your partner. Physical touch can achieve this in many ways, but it's important to note that physical closeness helps you feel more connected to them and can make physical intimacy much more enjoyable. Physical closeness can be as simple as cuddling up on the couch together while watching TV, holding hands or sharing an umbrella during a rainy walk. If you haven't done these things recently, it may be worth giving them a try!


You enjoy each other's company, even when you aren't having sex.

If you’re in a good relationship, sex isn’t everything. You and your partner will enjoy spending time together even when you aren’t having sex. This is important because it shows that you can be intimate without having sex all the time. Some couples may expect that they need to have sex with each other every day for their relationship to work, but this isn’t true at all! If something is making one person feel pressured or uncomfortable in their relationship then they should try talking about it with their partner instead of just ignoring these feelings until they go away on their own (hint: this never works). If something makes your partner or yourself uncomfortable then maybe there are ways you can both change things so that everyone feels better about the situation together.


Either way, it's all about how it makes you feel, not what anyone else thinks or believes.

At the end of the day, the most important thing to consider is whether you and your partner are happy. Some couples want and need sex every single day. That doesn't make them right or wrong; that is what makes them happy. But, if you and your partner are happy having sex once in a blue moon and physical connections happen around that, then so be it. It is important to do what makes you happy. You and your partner just need to focus on what makes you both feel good and what makes you feel loved and cared for. If you're not happy, but your partner is, again it's time to communicate your needs and discuss things further. When it comes to whether you and your partner are having enough sex or not, always remember to do what makes you feel good about your relationship!


 
 
 

People go to couples therapy for many reasons. Some do it because they want their relationships to be better, and some do it because they feel like they are going to lose their partner if they don't talk about how they feel. Some do it because someone else has told this-relationship-counselling-good-a-guide-to-knowing-if-couples-therapy-is-the-best-optionem that it will help them fix their relationship. The truth is, that relationship counselling can potentially help your relationship no matter why you decide to do it. In this guide, we will discuss what makes a good counsellor, what the benefits of seeing one are and more importantly when you should decide to see one.

They give you the space to talk

One of the critical reasons why seeing a relationship counsellor is a good idea is because you can be in a safe space where you can talk about how you feel. You also have a ‘moderator’ in the space, so they can help to guide the conversations in a thoughtful and productive manner. A relationship counsellor can:

  • Help you to listen to each other. This is one of the most important parts of any relationship, especially when it comes to couples therapy.

  • Guide you and your partner to let go of blame and anger. If a couple is arguing, they may be angry with one another or even blame each other for something that might have happened in their past. This can lead to resentment and hurt feelings if left unresolved, which will only make things worse in the long run. By working out these issues together in counselling sessions, partners can feel validated by their partner's support instead of being criticized for their actions or words—which will ultimately help them feel closer than ever before!

  • Acknowledge your partner's feelings without taking responsibility for them or trying to correct them (unless necessary). Being able to hear someone else's perspective without feeling like you need to change what you're saying shows that you care about how this person feels; this means being able to empathise without necessarily agreeing with everything they say at all times, too.


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They will help you listen better

The counsellor can also teach you to listen better. Listening isn’t just hearing, it’s understanding as well. It is really easy for people to hear what the other person is saying but not really understand what they mean and why they said it.

Couples counselling couples usually learn better ways to interact with each other and gain a better understanding of how they relate to others. So, it goes deeper than simply having a safe space to talk about things. It helps you and your partner to communicate more effectively than without any counselling at all.

What makes relationship counselling so helpful?

You may have heard about the benefits of relationship counselling, but what exactly does it entail? How can it benefit you and your relationship? Couples therapy can be an excellent tool for resolving conflict in long-term relationships or even repairing issues within newly formed ones.

Benefits Of Couples Counseling

While many people have concerns about counselling (and rightly so), there are some great perks to be gained from going through this process together with your partner. Counselling is known to help individuals by:

  • Improving communication skills.

  • Identifying ways they can improve their behaviour towards their partner.

  • Recognising the underlying causes behind why they behave the way they do.

They can make your relationship happier

Studies have shown that couples who see a therapist are more likely to have satisfaction in their relationship long-term and have a decrease in relationship-specific attachment anxiety over the course of therapy. It's no surprise then that most therapists believe that therapy can help you and your partner become happier in your relationship.

Couples therapy is a great way to improve your relationship.

Couples therapy can help you learn to communicate in a more effective way. For example, one of the most common issues that couples bring up is how they go about expressing their emotions. In some cases, one partner may find it easier and more natural to express feelings than the other partner does. This can lead to frustration for both parties as well as an unwillingness on the part of one or both partners to communicate what they are feeling because they feel like there is no point in doing so because no one will listen anyway.

Couples therapy is a great way to improve your relationship. It's there to help you both understand your emotions, the reasons behind why you react the way you do, and how to best support each other during times of stress or conflict.


Couples therapy/relationship counselling is a great way to improve your relationship. If you’re in a relationship and are struggling with communication or other issues that are causing problems between you, then it might be time to seek some help from someone outside of your partnership.


 
 
 

One of the hardest things you can face in life is separation and divorce, regardless of the circumstances surrounding it. Many people go through it each day with the divorce rate in Australia at 1.9 per 1,000 residents. Whether you’ve been married a year or 20 years, divorce is a difficult experience to get through.


Understanding Your Feelings

One of the first things to consider is how you feel during this time. It’s important to understand what you’re going through and help yourself to navigate the plethora of feelings you may be going through. Divorce can put you on an emotional rollercoaster, so it’s best to reflect on these feelings and ensure you can guide yourself through them; either alone or with the support of a therapist.

Losing a relationship can be quite painful. Your feelings and emotions may range from sadness, and grief through to anger or even, elation or relief. To better understand your experience and get through this time in your life, there are a few things you can focus on to help yourself out.


Establish boundaries

Depending on your circumstances, you may need to address some boundaries to protect yourself from more hurt. You may need to limit contact with your ex or limit time together. Or, your boundaries may consist of removing yourself from social media or staying away from certain people. Now is a good time to get an idea of what will help you to get through this divorce and how to establish new boundaries.


Take it easy

One thing that many people do when they go through a divorce or separation is to take a lot of that stress and put it on themselves. Now is not the time to blame yourself for what could have happened. Instead, you need to give yourself the time to deal with this life change and take it easy on yourself.

Expressing a negative emotion or feeling toward yourself at this time isn’t going to help the situation and it certainly isn’t going to help yourself. Right now, you need support and time to heal and the first thing to do is to be kind to yourself.


Give yourself time

There is no right or wrong way to go through a divorce. For many, going through a divorce is a type of grief process. As mentioned previously, the time that you spent with your partner doesn’t make it any less painful of an experience, either.

Give yourself time to get through the divorce. But, it’s important to remember that you don’t want to spend too much time dwelling on the past. Your end goal is to heal and move forward. Bear that in mind while you are recovering and if your actions aren’t working towards that goal, it’s time to re-evaluate and work on improving your situation.


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Look after your physical health

It may be tempting to indulge in some unhealthy habits during this time, but keeping up with a routine and healthy habits can give you a sense of normalcy. One way to view it is to consider looking after yourself as if you are getting over an illness or the flu. In that situation you would ensure you had enough fluids, were getting enough rest and eating properly to keep your energy levels up. The same should cross your mind when going through your divorce.

Granted, there may be a night or two where you have a few too many drinks to try and “numb” the pain. But, with your ultimate goal in mind of healing and growth, be sure to look after yourself, instead.


Grow your network and get support

If your social life declined when you were married, now is a good time to catch up with old friends, make new ones or simply get out and enjoy your own company. Friends and work colleagues may be a good support network as you go through the divorce. They can help to improve your social connections, lend you an ear to chat to or simply help you to get out of your head.

For times that you feel like you’re struggling a little too much and need some further support beyond your friendships, seek the advice of a qualified therapist. They’ll be able to help you to navigate through those rough patches and help you from an experienced and knowledgeable background.


If you’d like some free advice from our growing Facebook community and our licenced and experienced therapists, be sure to check out our Facebook group: Real Relationships.


 
 
 
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