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People go to couples therapy for many reasons. Some do it because they want their relationships to be better, and some do it because they feel like they are going to lose their partner if they don't talk about how they feel. Some do it because someone else has told this-relationship-counselling-good-a-guide-to-knowing-if-couples-therapy-is-the-best-optionem that it will help them fix their relationship. The truth is, that relationship counselling can potentially help your relationship no matter why you decide to do it. In this guide, we will discuss what makes a good counsellor, what the benefits of seeing one are and more importantly when you should decide to see one.

They give you the space to talk

One of the critical reasons why seeing a relationship counsellor is a good idea is because you can be in a safe space where you can talk about how you feel. You also have a ‘moderator’ in the space, so they can help to guide the conversations in a thoughtful and productive manner. A relationship counsellor can:

  • Help you to listen to each other. This is one of the most important parts of any relationship, especially when it comes to couples therapy.

  • Guide you and your partner to let go of blame and anger. If a couple is arguing, they may be angry with one another or even blame each other for something that might have happened in their past. This can lead to resentment and hurt feelings if left unresolved, which will only make things worse in the long run. By working out these issues together in counselling sessions, partners can feel validated by their partner's support instead of being criticized for their actions or words—which will ultimately help them feel closer than ever before!

  • Acknowledge your partner's feelings without taking responsibility for them or trying to correct them (unless necessary). Being able to hear someone else's perspective without feeling like you need to change what you're saying shows that you care about how this person feels; this means being able to empathise without necessarily agreeing with everything they say at all times, too.


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They will help you listen better

The counsellor can also teach you to listen better. Listening isn’t just hearing, it’s understanding as well. It is really easy for people to hear what the other person is saying but not really understand what they mean and why they said it.

Couples counselling couples usually learn better ways to interact with each other and gain a better understanding of how they relate to others. So, it goes deeper than simply having a safe space to talk about things. It helps you and your partner to communicate more effectively than without any counselling at all.

What makes relationship counselling so helpful?

You may have heard about the benefits of relationship counselling, but what exactly does it entail? How can it benefit you and your relationship? Couples therapy can be an excellent tool for resolving conflict in long-term relationships or even repairing issues within newly formed ones.

Benefits Of Couples Counseling

While many people have concerns about counselling (and rightly so), there are some great perks to be gained from going through this process together with your partner. Counselling is known to help individuals by:

  • Improving communication skills.

  • Identifying ways they can improve their behaviour towards their partner.

  • Recognising the underlying causes behind why they behave the way they do.

They can make your relationship happier

Studies have shown that couples who see a therapist are more likely to have satisfaction in their relationship long-term and have a decrease in relationship-specific attachment anxiety over the course of therapy. It's no surprise then that most therapists believe that therapy can help you and your partner become happier in your relationship.

Couples therapy is a great way to improve your relationship.

Couples therapy can help you learn to communicate in a more effective way. For example, one of the most common issues that couples bring up is how they go about expressing their emotions. In some cases, one partner may find it easier and more natural to express feelings than the other partner does. This can lead to frustration for both parties as well as an unwillingness on the part of one or both partners to communicate what they are feeling because they feel like there is no point in doing so because no one will listen anyway.

Couples therapy is a great way to improve your relationship. It's there to help you both understand your emotions, the reasons behind why you react the way you do, and how to best support each other during times of stress or conflict.


Couples therapy/relationship counselling is a great way to improve your relationship. If you’re in a relationship and are struggling with communication or other issues that are causing problems between you, then it might be time to seek some help from someone outside of your partnership.


 
 
 

One of the hardest things you can face in life is separation and divorce, regardless of the circumstances surrounding it. Many people go through it each day with the divorce rate in Australia at 1.9 per 1,000 residents. Whether you’ve been married a year or 20 years, divorce is a difficult experience to get through.


Understanding Your Feelings

One of the first things to consider is how you feel during this time. It’s important to understand what you’re going through and help yourself to navigate the plethora of feelings you may be going through. Divorce can put you on an emotional rollercoaster, so it’s best to reflect on these feelings and ensure you can guide yourself through them; either alone or with the support of a therapist.

Losing a relationship can be quite painful. Your feelings and emotions may range from sadness, and grief through to anger or even, elation or relief. To better understand your experience and get through this time in your life, there are a few things you can focus on to help yourself out.


Establish boundaries

Depending on your circumstances, you may need to address some boundaries to protect yourself from more hurt. You may need to limit contact with your ex or limit time together. Or, your boundaries may consist of removing yourself from social media or staying away from certain people. Now is a good time to get an idea of what will help you to get through this divorce and how to establish new boundaries.


Take it easy

One thing that many people do when they go through a divorce or separation is to take a lot of that stress and put it on themselves. Now is not the time to blame yourself for what could have happened. Instead, you need to give yourself the time to deal with this life change and take it easy on yourself.

Expressing a negative emotion or feeling toward yourself at this time isn’t going to help the situation and it certainly isn’t going to help yourself. Right now, you need support and time to heal and the first thing to do is to be kind to yourself.


Give yourself time

There is no right or wrong way to go through a divorce. For many, going through a divorce is a type of grief process. As mentioned previously, the time that you spent with your partner doesn’t make it any less painful of an experience, either.

Give yourself time to get through the divorce. But, it’s important to remember that you don’t want to spend too much time dwelling on the past. Your end goal is to heal and move forward. Bear that in mind while you are recovering and if your actions aren’t working towards that goal, it’s time to re-evaluate and work on improving your situation.


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Look after your physical health

It may be tempting to indulge in some unhealthy habits during this time, but keeping up with a routine and healthy habits can give you a sense of normalcy. One way to view it is to consider looking after yourself as if you are getting over an illness or the flu. In that situation you would ensure you had enough fluids, were getting enough rest and eating properly to keep your energy levels up. The same should cross your mind when going through your divorce.

Granted, there may be a night or two where you have a few too many drinks to try and “numb” the pain. But, with your ultimate goal in mind of healing and growth, be sure to look after yourself, instead.


Grow your network and get support

If your social life declined when you were married, now is a good time to catch up with old friends, make new ones or simply get out and enjoy your own company. Friends and work colleagues may be a good support network as you go through the divorce. They can help to improve your social connections, lend you an ear to chat to or simply help you to get out of your head.

For times that you feel like you’re struggling a little too much and need some further support beyond your friendships, seek the advice of a qualified therapist. They’ll be able to help you to navigate through those rough patches and help you from an experienced and knowledgeable background.


If you’d like some free advice from our growing Facebook community and our licenced and experienced therapists, be sure to check out our Facebook group: Real Relationships.


 
 
 

If you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage, chances are you know the feeling of monotony. While there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of boredom in a long-term relationship, it can sometimes put a strain on a marriage/relationship. Many people feel that this “boredom” is the beginning of the end. Newfound relationships have an added burst of new relationship energy (NRE) and so it can feel that the spark isn’t there anymore, especially if you’ve been with your partner for over a decade.

So how can you improve that “spark” between you? How can you talk about something different other than the kids, work or chores?


  1. Hold hands When was the last time you held your partner's hand as you went for a walk? According to studies, it is very important to continue to hold hands with your partner. Holding or touching each other can help to synchronise your breathing and heart rate and can even help to sync brainwaves between the two of you. The power of touch has a significant impact on your mind and brain, even if you don’t realise it. Some people have found through anxious times that holding their partners' hands or receiving a hug from them can help to alleviate anxiety and pain symptoms. Whether you’re going for a walk through the shops or sitting on the couch together, reach out and hold their hand.

  2. Make time for each other and go on dates Think about what you used to do when you first started dating. Did you always go to a new restaurant each week? Did you go on hikes? Whatever it is that you used to do in the early days of your courtship, start to relive them once again. We know it can be hard to find the time to do these sorts of activities, but if you want to help ignite the passion back into your relationship, you need to take the time to spend quality time together. Schedule in time for date night and book a table. Put the phones away and don’t talk about household chores or work. If you want to take it a step further, organise a weekend away to a new place to discover together. Refresh the routine and try some new things together.

  3. Change your sex patterns Are you always the one to initiate sex? Are you sometimes a little withdrawn from sex depending on your mood or how tired you are? It’s time to break any sex habits you have and start to change things up a little bit. Now is a good time to have a discussion about fantasies, what you like (and don’t like) in the bedroom and what you would like to try out. If you’re normally a little reserved and don’t initiate sex, perhaps it’s a good time to be the one to start things up. If you are normally the person pursuing sex, maybe let your partner take over and try something new. If you want to keep things “vanilla”, that’s ok, too! You can still mix things up a little by having sex in a different location, spending more time on foreplay or even just finding new ways to tell your partner that you think they’re sexy.

  4. Focus on self-care Even though you’re working on your relationship with another person, it’s still important to separate yourself from your relationship and focus on yourself, too. Self-care can help you to feel better about yourself and to help improve your relationship due to your newfound confidence in yourself. Make the time to treat yourself to a new haircut and a new colour. Get a massage and work out those daily stressful knots. Or, if you want to start getting fit, join a fitness group or gym and make the time each week to focus on yourself and your wellbeing. As you feel more confident, this could help you to feel more empowered as an individual and as a part of a couple.

  5. Be spontaneous Do you both have a weekend free coming up? No plans on Friday night? Why not book a table or a short mini-holiday for a night or two and surprise your partner? Being spontaneous helps to break up the usual routine that you both go through day in and day out. If you go somewhere completely new, you’ll both be able to enjoy a unique adventure in an exciting new place. Go top a new location and throw in some new adventures like jet-skiing or a new show you’ve both never been to before.

  6. Don’t stop flirting Remember when you first started dating? Do you remember the types of texts you’d send to each other? Perhaps you sent saucy photos to each other throughout the day? Whatever it is that you used to do to flirt your way into your partner’s heart, start doing it again. Just because you’ve been together for many years and know what each other looks like and is interested in, doesn’t mean you have to stop your flirt game. Even a cute message in your lunch break to say that you’re thinking of them and what you’d like to do that night when you see them could be just that little spark needed to refresh your long-term romance game.

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Romance and long-term relationships can work. Some couples stay together for decades and still have the passion and romance that was there when they first started dating; but, it can take some time and work to get there. It may seem like you can just back and the passion will just magically be there, but the truth is, you both need to put in the effort when it comes to the long game of marriage and relationships. With some work and dedication to each other, you’ll both be happier and feel that spark once again.


Don’t forget to join our Facebook group for free advice from our community and licenced therapists. Join us today and let’s talk!

 
 
 
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Couples, Families and Individuals.

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