All Things About Wills And Estate Planning You Never Want To Know

I recently had the privilege of interviewing Rohani Bixler, an experienced lawyer and Principal at Sage, specialising in Wills, Trusts, and Estates. With over a decade of practical experience and a background in psychology, Rohani brings a unique blend of expertise and interpersonal skills to estate planning. Keep reading as we dive deeper into the world of wills and estate planning.

Rohani's Journey as a Wills and Estate Lawyer

Rohani is a wills and estate lawyer who helps people plan what happens to their belongings and loved ones after they pass away. She ensures that their family, including children and pets, are cared for and helps them secure their assets for the future. Rohani has been practising this area of law for 17 years, finding joy in the diversity of people she works with and the problem-solving aspect of her job. She values the personal connections she forms with clients and finds fulfilment in guiding them through happy moments, like creating wills, and challenging times, such as estate litigation.

Understanding the Significance and Complexity of Wills

Understanding the significance and complexity of wills is crucial as it goes beyond the person who is passing. It allows individuals to have their final say and leave a meaningful legacy. Periodically updating wills is important, considering changes in relationships or family dynamics, to ensure the desired distribution of assets. Seeking legal advice for wills is essential to navigating the complexities, such as the impact of divorce, blended families, tax implications, and structuring assets to minimise disputes and provide for loved ones effectively.

While writing a will might seem simple, the expertise and guidance of a lawyer are invaluable in exploring options, understanding implications, and avoiding misconceptions that could lead to costly legal challenges in the future.

The Importance of Having a Will Through Real-Life Stories

Real-life stories highlight the importance of having a will. For example, a woman who went through a difficult divorce and fought for custody of her children may neglect to make a will, assuming she won't die because she needs to be there for her kids. However, suppose she passes away without a will. In that case, her ex-partner may gain control of her estate, including decisions about her burial, the children's finances, and the fate of her assets.

Another scenario involves a person in a de facto relationship whose partner's parents took control after his passing, ignoring the partner's wishes for cremation. If there's no will specifying an executor or decision-maker, ensuring the deceased's intentions are honoured becomes challenging. Therefore, having a will is crucial to avoid such legal consequences and ensure that assets are distributed according to the person's wishes.

Encouraging Your Partner to Discuss Wills and Estate Planning

When discussing wills and estate planning with your partner, it's important to ensure it is done correctly to provide security. Updating your will as circumstances change is essential. Initiating this conversation can be challenging, especially if your partner is reluctant. Finding the right approach, such as emphasising trust, peace of mind, and the potential difficulties that may arise without a will, can encourage your partner to consider estate planning, ultimately saving money and ensuring a smoother process.

A will is important as it safeguards individuals' wishes and prevents potential legal consequences. In addition, it is crucial to comprehend the complexity of wills, as they provide a final say and a meaningful legacy. Regularly updating wills is essential to accommodate relationship changes and ensure desired asset distribution. Seeking legal advice for wills is invaluable, considering factors like divorce, blended families, taxes, and asset structuring. When discussing wills with a partner, approaching the conversation with trust, peace of mind, and avoiding future difficulties can encourage estate planning and ensure a smoother process.

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Nurturing a Child's Potential: Exploring Different Parenting Styles

Parenting is a beautiful journey that comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. As parents, we often find ourselves seeking guidance on how to raise our children in the best possible way. One of the crucial aspects of parenting is understanding and adopting the right parenting style.

In this blog, we will explore four distinct parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, dismissive, and permissive. We will delve into the pros and cons of each style, and ultimately, help you reflect on your own parenting approach.

1. Authoritative Parenting:

Authoritative parenting is characterized by a balanced approach that focuses on setting clear boundaries while encouraging independence and individuality. These parents are warm, responsive, and supportive, yet they maintain consistent discipline. They actively engage in open communication and provide explanations for rules, helping children understand the reasoning behind them. The authoritative style fosters self-esteem, responsibility, and critical thinking skills in children.

Pros:

• Children raised by authoritative parents tend to develop a strong sense of self and decision-making abilities.

• They have better social skills and are more adept at problem-solving.

• They have a higher level of academic achievement due to the emphasis on discipline and responsibility.

Cons:

• The authoritative style requires time and effort to maintain consistency, which can be challenging for busy parents.

• Some children may perceive the boundaries as restrictive, leading to occasional conflicts.

2. Authoritarian Parenting:

Authoritarian parenting is characterized by strict rules and high expectations. These parents value obedience and discipline above all else. They tend to have a "because I said so" attitude, without offering much explanation. Authoritarian parents typically have high standards and may resort to punishments rather than positive reinforcement.

Pros:

• Children raised in authoritarian households often excel in academic performance.

• They have a clear understanding of boundaries and rules.

• They develop a strong sense of respect for authority figures.

Cons:

• Authoritarian parenting can lead to a strained parent-child relationship, as it lacks warmth and emotional support.

• Children may struggle with low self-esteem, as their individuality and autonomy may be suppressed.

• This style can hinder a child's ability to make independent decisions and think critically.

3. Dismissive Parenting:

Dismissive parenting is characterized by an emotionally detached and uninvolved approach. These parents may prioritize their own needs or be disengaged due to various reasons, leaving their children to fend for themselves. They often have minimal expectations and limited communication with their children.

Pros:

• Dismissive parenting can promote independence and self-reliance in children.

• It allows children to explore their interests and develop autonomy.

• It may suit older, responsible children who need less direct guidance.

Cons:

• Children raised by dismissive parents may struggle with low self-esteem and emotional insecurity.

• They may experience difficulties forming healthy relationships and seeking emotional support.

• The lack of guidance and structure may hinder their academic and social development.

4. Permissive Parenting:

Permissive parenting is characterized by a lenient approach with few rules and limited discipline. These parents are nurturing and loving but often struggle to enforce boundaries and may give in to their child's desires. They prioritize their child's happiness and tend to avoid conflict.

Pros:

• Children raised in permissive households may feel loved and accepted unconditionally.

• They often have strong emotional bonds with their parents.

• They have a sense of freedom and exploration.

Cons:

• Permissive parenting can result in children lacking self-discipline and accountability.

• They may struggle with setting boundaries and respecting authority figures.

• Without structure and guidance, children may face challenges in school and later in life.

Reflecting on Your Parenting Style:

Now that we have explored the four parenting styles, take a moment to reflect on your own approach. Which style aligns most closely with your current parenting style? Remember, it is essential to consider both your strengths and areas for improvement.

Transitioning Towards Authoritative Parenting: If you find yourself identifying with a parenting style other than authoritative and wish to transition, here are some steps you can take:

1. Self-reflection: Understand the reasons behind your current parenting style and identify areas you want to change.

2. Learn and educate yourself: Read books, attend parenting workshops, or consult with professionals to gain knowledge and strategies for authoritative parenting.

3. Open communication: Foster open and honest communication with your child. Encourage their input and actively listen to their thoughts and concerns.

4. Set clear expectations and boundaries: Establish consistent rules and consequences. Provide explanations for rules to help your child understand their purpose.

5. Balance warmth and discipline: Offer emotional support and warmth while maintaining appropriate discipline and structure.

6. Be patient and consistent: Transitioning to a new parenting style takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and your child as you navigate this change.

Parenting is a deeply personal journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. However, understanding the various parenting styles and their pros and cons can help guide our efforts to become more effective parents. Remember, as parents, our primary goal should be to create an environment that nurtures our children's potential and helps them grow into confident, responsible, and independent individuals.

Navigating Separation: Personal Growth and Positive Outcomes through Mediation

Join me as I interview Bonnie Douglas, a family mediator and separation counsellor from Smoother Separations. Bonnie's passion lies in guiding clients through the overwhelming and stressful separation process, proving that it doesn't have to be a life sentence. Discover in this article the invaluable role of mediators and how they can create a better divorce experience, where the focus is collaboration rather than winning.

Personal Journey and Impact of Mediation

Becoming a mediator brings personal growth and positive outcomes for all. A former counsellor turned mediator, Bonnie initially had doubts but found her talent for helping opposing parties find common ground. Mediation is especially valuable in family disputes, promoting effective co-parenting and a healthier environment for children. Seeking support from divorce-specialised counsellors is crucial for navigating challenges and ensuring a beneficial outcome for all, as actions and attitudes towards the other parent impact the child's well-being and future relationships.

Understanding Mediation and its Benefits

Mediation offers a valuable way to resolve disputes by facilitating discussions between parties. It is most effective when used early on, preventing costly legal battles. In Australia, the Family Law Act mandates attempting mediation before a judge can hear a parenting matter, prioritising children's needs. However, limited information and the misconception that court battles are inevitable often obscure the benefits of mediation. Individuals can access a peaceful and cost-effective path to resolving disputes by raising awareness.

Roles and Differences: Relationship Counselor, Mediator, and Family Lawyer

Relationship counsellors, mediators, and family lawyers play distinct roles in conflict resolution. Counsellors assist couples in enhancing their relationships through effective communication tools and guidance. Mediators, on the other hand, remain impartial facilitators, seeking common ground without personal investment. They prioritise children's best interests and consider their perspectives during discussions. Family lawyers exclusively represent one partner, providing legal advice and ensuring adherence to family law. While mediators and counsellors collaborate with both partners, family lawyers focus solely on their client's needs.

Voice of the Child and Maternal Gatekeeping

It's important to consider the child's perspective on separation and divorce. While lawyers represent one party, counsellors and mediators prioritise the children's well-being. Mediators aim to maintain family relationships, while lawyers may escalate conflicts unintentionally. Seeking legal advice without critical thinking can further divide parents. Skilled lawyers provide options and consequences to promote understanding.

Maternal gatekeeping occurs when women embrace the primary caregiver role due to societal norms and expertise. Challenging this role in shared care arrangements can threaten a mother's identity and power. However, children benefit from strong relationships with both parents, contributing to their well-rounded development.

Challenging Cases and Cost Considerations

Challenging cases in mediation can arise when safety concerns or problematic parents are involved. These cases require careful handling and may require court intervention. Mediation is inappropriate for suspected abuse cases, as the well-being of children and the parties' safety are top priorities. Clients with capacity issues, like alcoholism, may need alternative negotiation methods. Mediation costs vary depending on circumstances and the mediator. Generally, reaching agreements on parenting takes 4-5 hours, with fees under $3,000 per person for parenting and property mediation.

Bonnie's insights highlight the crucial role of mediators in promoting positive outcomes for families. Based on her personal experience, she highlights how mediation fosters effective co-parenting and safeguards the well-being of children during familial conflicts.

By encouraging constructive dialogue, mediation helps parties find common ground, averting costly legal battles. However, there needs to be more awareness about this alternative.

Understanding the distinct roles of relationship counsellors, mediators, and family lawyers when seeking support is vital. Mediation offers a collaborative and child-centred approach to divorce, aiming to create a more positive experience for everyone involved.

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