An Interview with Amar on Queer-Affirming, Neurodiversity-Informed Counselling

In this conversation, Amar invites us into the heart of their counselling work and the values that guide it. They speak openly about their journey into counselling, what it means to create a space where queer and gender-diverse clients can truly relax and be themselves, and why understanding neurodiversity as difference, not deficit, matters so deeply. Along the way, Amar shares thoughtful reflections on relationships, self-worth, and the quiet power of feeling genuinely seen and supported. This is a warm, grounded glimpse into a counselling style that is human, affirming, and deeply respectful of each person’s lived experience.

Can you tell us a little about your journey into counselling and what led you to this work?

I didn’t arrive in counselling through a single moment so much as a series of experiences that gradually pointed me in this direction. I’ve always been drawn to understanding people, what shapes them, what hurts them, and what helps them heal. Along the way, both personal and professional experiences deepened my appreciation for how profoundly our relationships, environments, and early experiences can affect our wellbeing. Studying counselling felt like a natural home for those interests. What has kept me here is witnessing, again and again, how meaningful change can happen when people feel truly seen, believed, and supported.

What does it mean to you to create a truly safe and affirming space for queer and gender-diverse clients?

For me, safety goes far beyond simply being “welcoming.” It means creating a space where clients don’t have to translate themselves, defend their identities, or monitor how they speak. Practically, that looks like using affirming language, being curious rather than assumptive, and being open about my commitment to inclusivity. Emotionally, it means cultivating an atmosphere where clients can bring all parts of themselves including vulnerability, grief, joy, and anger without fear of judgement or misunderstanding.

Many LGBTIQA+ clients have had mixed or negative experiences accessing support. What do you think is most important for therapists to understand when working with queer clients?

I think it’s crucial for therapists to understand the impact of minority stress and the cumulative weight of invalidation, discrimination, or invisibility that many queer clients carry. It’s not just about what happens in the therapy room; it’s about the broader social context they live in. Therapists need to be both trauma-informed and culturally humble. They need to be willing to listen, learn, and be corrected. Most importantly, therapists should recognise that being queer is not a “problem to be fixed,” but an identity to be respected, supported, and celebrated.

When we talk about neurodiversity, what do you wish more people understood?

I wish more people understood that neurodiversity isn’t about deficits, it’s about difference. Brains simply work in varied ways, and those differences come with both strengths and challenges. Too often, neurodivergent people are judged against neurotypical norms that weren’t designed for them in the first place. Greater understanding would mean more compassion, flexibility, and appreciation for different ways of thinking, communicating, and experiencing the world.

What are some common challenges neurodivergent clients bring into therapy — especially around relationships, self-esteem, or feeling “different”?

Many neurodivergent clients come in carrying a heavy load of self-criticism, often stemming from years of feeling misunderstood or “out of sync” with others. In relationships, they may struggle with communication differences, sensory overwhelm, or navigating unspoken social rules. Around self-esteem, there can be a deep sense of “I’m too much” or “I don’t fit.” A big part of therapy is helping clients make sense of these experiences, build self-compassion, and develop strategies that actually work for their brains.

When working with couples or individuals navigating relationships, what patterns do you see most often?

One common pattern is a cycle of miscommunication where both people feel unheard, even when they care deeply about each other. I also see a lot of fear of vulnerability; people wanting connection but being afraid to risk getting hurt. Another recurring theme is unspoken expectations, where partners assume the other “should just know.” Therapy often involves slowing things down, clarifying needs, and helping people communicate more openly and authentically.

How would you describe your counselling style to someone considering their first session with you?

I’d describe my style as warm, collaborative, and thoughtful. I take your concerns seriously, but I also aim to make the space feel human rather than clinical. I’m not there to tell you what to do; I’m there to think with you, ask meaningful questions, and help you make sense of your experiences. You can expect empathy, curiosity, and a pace that respects your comfort level.

What’s something you wish more people knew about therapy?

I wish more people knew that therapy isn’t just for crisis moments, it’s also a space for reflection, growth, and understanding yourself more deeply. You don’t have to be “falling apart” to benefit from support. Therapy can be a place to explore patterns, clarify values, strengthen relationships, and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.