It doesn’t matter if you have only just started seeing someone or whether you’ve been married for 20 years, communication in your relationship is imperative. So many times, we see couple relationships break down due to poor or no communication. Some people may not want to speak up. Some may feel like they shouldn’t have to. Some, unfortunately, feel like they can’t speak up. Whatever it is you’re going through in your relationship right now, we have some key pointers to help improve communication between you and your partner that may help improve your connection and your bond together.
Talk about the little things
Does your partner always forget when to pick up the kids? Are they always dumping dirty dishes in the sink but not in the dishwasher? Does your partner leave make-up and toiletries spread out across the whole bathroom?
While it might feel like you’re nagging your partner about small, insignificant things, you might end up feeling worse over time as these seemingly harmless habits start to build up over time. Discuss any irritating things or ask them to help out with something that you feel a bit frustrated with.
One of the best ways to approach communication over things and actions you feel that your partner can improve on is by wording how you feel differently. Instead of saying “You never clean the kitchen” (which is direct and can seem quite hurtful to your partner, regardless of the truth behind it), try and re-focus it to how you feel. You might instead say “I would feel a lot better if we both work on cleaning the kitchen together” or “I love it when you clean the kitchen, I appreciate you doing it”.
Not keen on being so direct? Suggest doing these tasks together. So while you might still be cleaning up after your partner or fixing something they’ve seemingly brought upon you both, you’ll at least get a helping hand and they might enjoy it.
Use an app
There are so many apps on the market for socialising and talking that it may be a good chance to utilise one for your loving relationships to improve communication. If you took the Love Languages test from our previous post, you may have come across an app called Love Nudge. This app focuses on you and your partners’ Love Language and gives you both the chance to see what your partner would appreciate and it offers you suggestions for how to do something nice for your partner based on their love language. This will help strengthen your relationship and they will feel loved and appreciated for your efforts. Still not enough? The app also gives you the option to input how loved you feel on any given day and this notifies your partner as to how you’re feeling. This might be a good chance for them to make things right and help you to feel even more loved.
Spend time together
When was the last time you spent time together with your partner? If you answered with something along the lines of “our first date”, it’s time for you to get cracking!
If you spend time together, being in the same room while you’re both on your phones does not count, unfortunately. When we say to spend time together, we mean to go and have dinner and gaze into each other’s eyes with not a mobile phone in sight. Go for a walk and hold hands. Ask how your partners’ day was and listen to what they say. Be attentive, present and truly listen to what they say.
Listen to your partner
Whether it’s venting about their day at work or pointing at a cute animal out the window, listen to them. Take notice of the things they say and respond accordingly. Knowing that they can talk to you about even the most mundane things is going to help keep the communication channels open and they will be more receptive to talking to you about the good and the bad things.
If your partner feels you will listen to them, chances are they’re going to be more likely to come to you when something is bothering them so you can ensure you’re able to improve things between you both as it comes up.
Communication is important in any relationship. Regardless of your dynamic, whether you’re dating, married or co-parenting your children, making sure you talk things through together is always going to benefit the both of you.